January 24, 2017CoachVickyLeave a comment
I cried when I saw my breasts.
I do not know what type of tears they were. These were not tears of joy. I know Richard held me and said I was beautiful.
A great friend of mine, who started her cancer journey about six weeks before I started mine, wrote me and shared that she had cried too. She wrote that was “hard to just look at the battered mess on my chest and smile as if everything was amazing.”
When I look at my chest, I see both the physical and emotional scars of this cancer journey. In retrospect, I think I was expecting to see perfection the first time I looked. I had built up inside of me that once I had reconstruction most all of this cancer journey would be behind me. I have come to realize mine was an unreasonable expectation.
Today, after Richard removed my bandages, I looked again and I felt happier. I really think I am going to like these new “girls” a lot. I have come to realize in the past couple of days that this cancer journey will always be a visible part of me. It is just the way it is. I can be happy or sad about how I react to what I see. I will deal with any regression to sadness and get to happiness. I am choosing to be happy.
I wanted to thank everyone who prayed for us and found ways to contact us during this past surgery. Your support made everything a lot easier.
Leaders… it is your choice also. How each of us journeys through the highs and lows of what we encounter is truly our choice in our reactions.
-VhS