AUGUST 30, 2016 3 COMMENTS
When we realized the seriousness of the cancer and what lay ahead of us, Richard took the wheel.
ADRP 6- 22 defines an Army Leader as “anyone who by virtue of assumed role or assigned responsibility inspires and influences people to accomplish organizational goals.”
Richard took the leader role, put a holistic team together, assigned responsibility, and led with inspiration. I’ve always known what a great leader Richard is but to see him focused on this project showed me the depth of his commitment and his determination for success.
He told me his mission was to save my life.
He contacted clients and either cancelled or postponed work for June and July because my surgery was accelerated with the discovery of the second cancer.
He asked our clients to respect my privacy and they did. His influence in asking others to maintain my privacy greatly facilitated my recovery. I was just not ready to share this with many people.
The Holistic Team he put together covered mind, body, spirit. Team members included the Surgeon, Plastic Surgeon, Oncologist, Christian Counselor, Nutritionist, Physical Therapist, and Primary Care Physician. For those people we encountered that used a more traditional approach to cancer, I believe they were surprised at the inclusion of a counselor, physical therapist, and nutrition on this team. I believe Richard’s holistic approach has influenced others to look beyond the medical component in treating cancer.
Our insurance company provided a Case Manager who has helped us navigate the insurance side of this.
And then, Richard became my Cancer Caregiver for every aspect of my physical and emotional healing. That is another story …
-VhS
BY THE HAND OF GOD…
AUGUST 25, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
… My cancer was discovered.
… Without going into too much detail but providing enough information to understand what happened, here is the rest of the story.
After the biopsy of the lesion, a “marker” was placed where sample tissue was removed. A marker alerts a radiologist reading a film that this section of the breast has been biopsied. I know the marker was there because there was a follow-up mammogram and I saw the marker on the film. There was enough suspicious material from the biopsy that I had a lumpectomy to remove the lesion.
When my surgeon (Dr. Z) removed the lesion, there was no marker.
Dr. Z removed another mass near the lesion and there was no marker. He removed a second mass and there was no marker. He brought in a portable x-ray machine and there was no marker.
The lesion’s margins were negative for malignancy. Had the marker been there, he would have stopped with the removal of the lesion and given me a cancer-free bill of health.
The largest of the other mass had margins positive for malignancy.
For my values, I believe that the Hand of God removed the marker and guided my surgeon. There is no other explanation that makes sense.
Once diagnosed with breast cancer, I was eligible for a breast MRI. That MRI discovered a different cancer in the other breast.
I believe the discovery of these cancers has been a miracle. In so many ways, I am blessed.
Now … for a little extra knowledge…
- Not all breast cancers are visible on mammography. Mine were not visible on mammography. Neither my physicians nor could I feel these tumors, and one tumor was 4.0 cm.
- When offered a 3-D mammogram, get it! Pay the difference out-of-pocket if your insurance does not cover the additional cost.
- Mammograms are only one part of breast care. Monthly self-examinations and annual examinations by your physician are additions to the care.
- If you have dense breasts, talk with your physician about a breast MRI.
I have thanked my surgeon many times for discovering my cancers and saving my life. He reminds me that my intuition was telling me that something was wrong in the first place, and was instrumental in the discovery as well.
I also believe that people are placed and reconnected in our lives for many reasons. The woman I sat behind most of high school because we were placed in last name alphabetical order is Chantal. She posts from time to time on Facebook about women listening to their bodies. I listened to you, Chantal, and to my body. I remain grateful for your encouragement to do so.
-VhS
IT HAS BEEN AWHILE & WE’VE BEEN ON A JOURNEY
AUGUST 23, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
For those of you who follow us on Leader Lines, Executive Leadership Skills International (Facebook), and Army Leadership by the Book (Facebook), you know it has been awhile since we posted.
It has been busy since 23 May 2016.
On 23 May 2016, I arranged for an early mammogram. I knew something was wrong. From a small suspicious lesion, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
In addition, I received a miracle from God along the way.
I also received the best care that anyone could ever wish for from Richard. He put everything on hold for my recovery. He researched and studied this disease. He designed a holistic plan (mind – body – spirit) for my full recovery. He brought together a medical and healing team for optimal success.
I have attached a picture from yesterday. It was Day 1 of Chemotherapy. (Look sideways!)
These blogs will reflect on this journey and follow basic Army Leadership of Be – Know – Do.
- Be – the values and attributes that shape character.
- Know – the knowledge that leaders use.
- Do – the application of what is known through action.
Expect to hear from us a couple of times each week. I will share this journey focusing on our values, knowledge gained and applied, and actions we have taken.
A guideline that I would ask you to follow in your comments is to please write with and about dignity (quality of being worthy of honor or respect).
-VhS
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES TO THOSE DEPLOYED
FEBRUARY 25, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
One of our participants from a Leadership Program is deployed. He just got a large box of every type of Girl Scout Cookie sold in our city from us. He wrote to tell us how much he and his office mates enjoyed them.
If you would like to send Girl Scout Cookies to those deployed, take a look at this:
“Girls may participate in a council-approved “Gift of Caring” or “Cookie Share” program that allows girls to collect donations of cookies for military personnel serving overseas.”
-VhS
THOSE DEPLOYED
FEBRUARY 23, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
Richard and I pray everyday and throughout each day.
We always pray for everyone deployed in our defense, their families, and their safe return.
Here’s a video I encourage you to watch and listen until the end. You may need to paste it into your browser.
Vicky
WHAT IS EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP?
FEBRUARY 18, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
The bottom line question becomes “What is effective leadership?”
Within our thinking, leadership is effective to the degree that the structures of meaning have the power to:
1. Adhere, develop, or maintain a strong collective experience at the desired level
2. Vigorously interpret experiences within the collective, e.g. make events sensible to different individuals
3. Vigorously interpret experiences of the group within some larger context, e.g. the experiences of American producers in an international market
I believe that sometimes a good question can be far more useful than an answer. Effective questions can point us in useful directions. So I’ll leave you with one for your pondering:
What are the assumptions you have about leadership, and how has this concept of leadership challenged these assumptions?
-Richard
HOW DO YOU MAKE MEANING?
FEBRUARY 16, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
This blog picks up where the blog of 4 February 2016 left off.
OK. How do you make meaning? First things first. Let’s define our terms. When I use the term meaning in this definition of leadership I refer to a clear framework for interpreting, predicting, and controlling experience. It is a context for coordinating experiences so that these experiences relate to one another and become a whole. This is the sense in which we make meaning by constructing our experience.
In broader terms, such a framework also allows an individual to understand self and understand how self is related to others. Additionally, individuals may begin to interpret and understand their relationship to some group, and allow the group to be understood in its relationship to an even larger context.
This sense of meaning is all about unity, connection, relationship, and understanding. In this context, a job is meaningful when the person who does the job understands how the work fits in with other work and contributes to something larger. This understanding allows the person to interpret his or her experience as: “What I do has status and is important. Others depend on me as I depend on them. Together we are doing something larger than any of us could do alone.”
I suggest that this can be accomplished in at least four ways: system design, interpretation, narrative, and dialogue.
System design: systems provide reason by relating individuals to a larger entity. Performing a task in relation to a larger task is an example of acting within a framework for understanding self and self in relation to others. So, in an organizational system in which work is divided into smaller component tasks, the structure of meaning is the framework of interrelated tasks.
Interpretation: The act of interpreting events or circumstances within a collective experience is an act of leadership. Through interpretations, a framework for understanding events, behaviors, and feelings is produced. Events may be related to underlying values. Included in interpretation are various forms of meaning making such as vision, problem identification, and strategic analysis. The strength of such leadership must be measured in terms of the effectiveness and value of the understanding provided, and the extent to which the collective is joined together by the interpretation.
Narrative: Narrative or story telling provide frameworks of unity and reason in organizations. Narrative gives structure to events and actions and makes them meaningful by showing connection and intention.
Dialogue: Dialogue is a method for guiding inquiry and learning in organizations. Dialogue when used properly results in a free flowing of ideas within a group that produces ideas not usually achievable by individual thought alone. Dialogue requires a willingness to examine assumptions and a noncompetitive environment and may not be as useful a meaning making process in many hierarchically structured organizations. Yet dialogue is a process of making meaning in a collective experience and is possibly a formidable process of leadership.
The bottom line question becomes “What is effective leadership?”
That’s a great question for Thursday, 18 February.
-Richard
STEP 7 REFLECTION
FEBRUARY 11, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
To understand what really matters, reflection is essential.
7. Reflect. So what can you do to incorporate reflection in your life?
If you can’t take extended time off, you can take small breaks. These breaks can come in all shapes and sizes such as:
Meditation
Turn off email
Turning off the TV
Kill multitasking (it’s a myth, anyway)
Setting aside your smartphone
Journaling
Going on a hike
Feed the birds
Taking a run
Close your eyes and listen to relaxing music
Getting away for a weekend.
Use these small breaks to progressively gain perspective on what truly matters.
Keeping your attention on what is most important in your life is one of the most essential ingredients if you want to be able to:
Stick with your goals.
Achieve what you want to achieve each day.
Appreciate what you have in your life.
Clearly see how you can use your time here in the best way.
-Richard
WHAT REALLY MATTERS … YOUR MEANING
FEBRUARY 9, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
Have you ever been driving your car, following another and reading the bumper stickers? I found myself doing that one day and wondered what the message was that was trying to be sent…
For example, there was the crop of bumper stickers that had a common theme of “I’d rather be….” You fill in the blank. I saw one that said “I’d rather be fishing.” Another one read “I’d rather be flying.” When I was in Hawaii it was “I’d rather be surfing.”
The way my mind works causes me to ask, “Then why aren’t you?” If you’d rather be fishing, flying, or surfing, why aren’t you?
I know that way down inside me there are different things that move me…hobbies that excite me, urges that I wish I had more time to pursue, people I wish I could spend more time with. I believe that it is important to identify, focus on, and spend time on what matters to me.
Focusing on what truly matters, truly matters. OK. Fine. That makes sense. How do I do it then, and not just make it a thought exercise? Let’s start with the basic question:
1. What is my purpose? Start by taking 10 minutes out of your life to find some quiet space, and to close your eyes, and to think. Ask yourself: How do I want to be remembered? What do I want people to say about me at my funeral? Think about that for 10 minutes, then write down your answers. There may be a few different things, or 10, or just one.
2. Write your purpose down. This is your life mission. Put it somewhere you can see it every day. Remind yourself of it every day.
3. Answer: What excites me? Deep down we know what excites us. We know what gets our heart pumping, and what gets us excited to jump out of bed in the morning. I also know that sometimes we are fearful about admitting to ourselves what we really want to do, and who we really want to be because it’s not popular, or because it’s not as secure as the job we have.
4. What can I let slip? I am aware that there are never enough hours in the day to do everything that I have some interest in doing. However, there is enough time in the day to do everything that I am truly interested in, and that truly matters. Find what you can let slip -and then let it go.
5. Pick your top 2-3 principal tasks each day. These are the things that must happen no matter what. If you get these done your day is a success. Stick to no more than three, or better yet one. They must move you closer to your big goals. Here is a big by-the-way: checking email does not count.
6. Do your top 2-3 principal tasks first thing each day. The longer you wait, the more distractions will intrude. Nothing happens before these get done.
Step 7 on Thursday.
-Richard
OUR FUNDAMENTAL CHALLENGE
FEBRUARY 4, 2016LEAVE A COMMENT
Our company, Executive Leadership Skills International, www.els1.com , International is a Leadership and Organization Development, Training, and Consulting firm. We have helped over 250 clients who represent a spectrum of organizations and industries including small businesses, Fortune 100 firms, schools, and professional organizations. Our work has taken us throughout the United States, Europe, Asia, and Africa.
We believe that leadership is one of the most powerful of all forces impacting an organization. We approach leadership as the act and art of creating shared meaning, eliciting purposeful action, and achieving desired results. We promote leadership that shapes a culture of high-involvement — where employees participate as partners and the capacity and desire to make meaningful contributions are acknowledged and supported. With effective leadership, individuals contribute, their best ideas take form, and organizations thrive. We also recognize that leadership is needed and should be encouraged.
One of our fundamental challenges in this domain is understanding how to teach and develop leadership in individuals and organizations. We know that the many theories of leadership (and there are many!) based on preferred results of leadership will help us understand what we want. However, they cannot help us understand how to use leadership to get what we want. For example, we understand that we want to influence people to achieve desired goals, but if we define leadership as influencing others, we are left to ask, “How this is done?”
Such a question may have many answers, some of which have nothing to do with leadership. We are left, then, to derive a definition which reveals an underlying process that is at the root of influence.
We know that leadership is usually defined in terms of the application of influence or the creation of motivation or both. I think it is important to see leadership in a different context: influence and motivation are not essential features of leadership at all; rather, influence and motivation result from the making of meaning. The same may be said for goals, direction, or structure. These are not essential features of leadership; they are some of the means through which meaning can be made. It is neither influence nor goals that are essential to leadership. It is meaning.
What happens, then, when I reframe the question from “How do I influence others?” to “How do I make meaning?” We now begin to address the underlying universal process (meaning making) and not the secondary, resulting process (influencing others).
So the question remains: “How do you make meaning?”
Richard
